Yesterday, a casual friend pulled from her knapsack a sandwich she had purchased from a local Vietnamese market. The sandwich was for me, and it put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.
This wasn’t a surprise. She had asked me two weeks ago whether I wanted to try one of the aromatic sandwiches that she frequently brought to class. I said that I would and then time slipped away until both of us forgot about it.
The moment she opened her knapsack, the space around her was engulfed by the warm scent of freshly baked bread. She handed me a foot-long sandwich wrapped in white butcher paper. I waited for the lunch hour to eat it. Inside was cured chicken, cilantro, cucumber, and water cress, all wrapped inside a soft baguette. It was delicious.
This small gesture from a friend wasn’t small at all. The feeling it engendered lasted the whole day and into the next. Two days leapt by until we saw each other. I thanked her again and expressed how much I enjoyed the sandwich. She promised to bring me another.
I wasn’t the only person she gave something to. Throughout the semester, she always typed up exam notes; gave hugs readily; smiles profusely; and happiness continuously. This wasn’t affectation. This was genuine kindness and selflessness.
How do we become selfless creatures?
The first way to become selfless is to work on the “I”; in other words to become less egocentric. This doesn’t mean forgetting about yourself. It means to think about others first. When a woman steps aboard a crowded bus, offer her your seat. When you fill your cereal bowl with the last bit of your sister’s favorite, offer it to her before you eat it. Practicing these small gestures strengthens that selfless trait inside you, eroding egocentrism.
The same can be said when you consider your family. Why must your family come first before any other? Consider this: when your family sees another in need of food, why not share your food?
A week after that first sandwich, she brought me another. This time I insisted on paying her for the trouble. She did not argue. I handed her two dollars and she handed me that familiar butcher paper. In our exchange, I was reminded again of selflessness but also that she and I are siblings in the family of humanity.
