We are Americans. Chances are that you are one too (if you’re reading this, that is). If you’re not perhaps this falls into your culture just as much as it falls into the American culture.
Are mobile phones the death of common courtesy?
Let’s forget that the sound of mobile phones interrupt us all the time. Let’s focus on one simple idea: should you be on your mobile phone when dividing your attention between the person on the other end of the call and a second person standing in front of you?
When you place that order at your favorite food establishment, should you be on your mobile? When you are speaking to a flight attendant, should you be on your mobile? When you are in the company of another who is there to serve you, should you be on your mobile phone?
I say, “No!”
In our culture, and many others, time is of the essence. We are rushed. We need to do one thousand things in sixty minutes, and this helps us to forget common courtesy. It keeps us from recognizing each other and depersonalizes the people (or person) standing right in front of us.
I was waiting in line at Starbucks recently. The woman in front of me was talking on her mobile phone. She stepped up to the register and continued to talk on the phone while the Starbuck’s employee greeted her and asked to take her order. The woman kept talking and after five seconds she held up a finger to signal to the employee that she would be with her in a moment.
I asked a friend of mine if she agreed with my assertion about the use of mobile phones. In our discussion, she pointed out that some establishments now have signs that indicate service will not be granted if you are on your phone. Maybe all of us should adopt personal policies like this. If someone wants our attention but happens to be on a mobile phone, maybe we should give our attention only when that someone is off his/her telephone.
I guess my answer to someone’s discourtesy is to follow it up with a discourtesy. This doesn’t sound like taking the higher ground, but if it’s for the sake of preserving better cultural habits then maybe two wrongs should make a right.
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I think it’s a great idea for businesses to refuse service to those who are asking for it while on the cell phone. Not only is it rude to the service person, but it is inconsiderate to those in line behind the phone-talker since those folks have to wait until s/he is done and served. It also reinforces the notion that service-people needn’t be treated with as much respect or civility, which is a horrible attitude to hold.
I would add that if one refuses to talk to those in this situation (discourtesy for discourtesy as you put it), perhaps one could say, “I have a personal policy of not conversing with those on cell phones.” That should put the person in their place extra-good and make you seem more obviously on the higher road that you are.