For a long time, I’ve felt that the subject of occupation is one that is limiting and rather rude when brought up during a conversation between two newly acquainted individuals. How or when to ask a new acquaintance about their occupation is really a matter of etiquette, and since etiquette is based on culture let us discuss this under the framework of Western culture.
It is hard sometimes to find a point of discussion with someone you would like to know. This is easy to admit. You may start a conversation with the traditional salutations then move on to the weather, but where to turn after these two topics have been exhausted may be difficult. Occupation seems logical and easy, and it opens up a whole new area of thought and discussion.
What do you do?
This question limits the inquirer’s perception because it allows for preconception of the individual’s character.
Jennifer: So what do you do for a living?
Charles: I’m a truck driver for a waste disposal company.
You may say that Jennifer is superficial if she were to infer characteristics on Charles based on his answer. However, you would be misleading yourself into the wrong idea because all of us form some sort of impression about others based on what they do for a living; particularly, when we meet someone for the first time. It is a bad habit true enough, but it is one that most of us do. The degree to which we do it varies with each of us, but evidence to the contrary is little to none.
Herein lies the argument that occupation should not be something discussed during an initial conversation with someone. The formation of a preconceived idea of who that individual is, what he is like, pushes the inquirer into a state of wrongful judgement.
Some may argue that the question is rather reasonable if the asking is sincere, and this is a valid point. But this doesn’t mean that the individual will not begin to make assertions about the other based on the occupation. The only way to avoid this at all is to avoid the question; get to understand the value of each other’s company on more than one occasion before the value of each other’s occupation on the first occasion. Only then will we find the true nature of the other.
